Celebrating Stories (Part 2)

I have been trying to write a new blog post for a couple of weeks now. The post discusses dealing with changes in life by examining my own response to changes in the music education profession. It will be worth the read (I believe) once it is done, but I have not been able to finish it. It’s not that I am procrastinating. I have just been dealing with some grief, and I find it difficult to concentrate on anything else, so I thought I would share this instead.

I have been writing about the stories we tell ourselves and others and the importance of taking time to share your story. However, I would be remiss if I did not say something about the risks involved as well. Sharing your story with someone else is an intimate act. It makes you vulnerable. It opens you up to critique and possible rejection. If you are not careful about with whom you share your story, you may find elements of it used to manipulate or embarrass you. In the past weeks, I have been sharply reminded of this reality.

Sharing your story is about letting someone see you as you are (or as you believe yourself to be). In the process, you entrust the best and worst parts of yourself to someone else. If they break that trust, or if they reject you once they see you more clearly, it is devastating. They make it less likely you will be willing to let yourself be seen again. It can make your world smaller. It can leave you feeling alone.

You are not alone. As R.E.M. reminds us, everybody hurts sometimes. Everybody cries. When you are experiencing grief, pain, and loneliness it becomes even more important to share your story with someone else. Find someone who will not try to ‘fix things’ or offer advice you are not ready to receive. Find someone who will make space for you to feel how you feel and who will encourage you to grow from that place of pain. A counselor. A friend. A spouse. Someone.

When we share our grief, we are united in our common humanity. Do not swallow it up. I know that you do not want to burden others with your sorrows or your pain, but for those who truly love you - it is an honor to help carry your burdens. Allow others to show you that kind of love. Share your burden, and be ready to help them shoulder theirs. It is what we are called to do for each other. It is how we live out loving our neighbors as ourselves.